


Never Coming Home (Should I? Could I?)

by orphan_account



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Death, Ghost! Shane, M/M, Shyan Exchange 2k18, e - Freeform, real sad :(, sad! ryan, shane dies, small reference to suicide but nothing happens, wrote this while listing to mcr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 05:03:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15811938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Then Shane was gone, and all that was left, was a heartbroken Ryan Steven Bergara.





	Never Coming Home (Should I? Could I?)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alovelikenoneother](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alovelikenoneother/gifts).



> E sister sob
> 
> Mood Music: Ghost Of You - My Chemical Romance

His funeral was quiet. White flowers lay across the old beaten up church, in the middle lays Shane Alexander Madej in a coffin. Ryan was broken, he felt empty and cold. He was so confused, angry, sad, and empty, all at the same time.

 

Empty, empty was what Ryan was feeling. Ryan sat next to Sara Rubin and Helen Pan, Shane and Ryan's two best friends. “I now invite Ryan Bergara up to say a few words.” The priest, who didn’t seem to care at all said.

Loving Shane was the best thing that happened to Ryan, and now he can’t even love him anymore. Ryan went up to the Shane’s coffin, to see Shane’s beautiful, amazing, breathtaking, bruised, broken, and dead face. Ryan brought three fingers up to his lips, kissed them, then brought them down to Shane’s beautiful, pink, cold, dead lips.

People in the crowd looked sympathetic for him, but Ryan knew they didn’t care. Ryan sniffled and wiped some tears away from his eyes. He could barely handle the pain he was going through. How was he going to be able to say what he wants to?

Mess, a mess was what Ryan was at the moment. He couldn’t think of anything to say because he was so distraught. “Shane was the best thing that happened to me.” Ryan spoke with a shaky voice. “He meant the world to me. I can’t live without him. I would do anything for him. I wish it was me who died in that car accident. I did everything to protect him.” Ryan sobbed. “Everyone was so supportive of us when we got together, even if we didn’t meet in a ideal way. We met because we were fighting over who was going to get the last box of cereal at the store.” Ryan sadly chuckled a bit. “We kept running into each other and eventually apologized and hung out more, that’s when i realized how much i wanted to be with him, start a family, live together, and d-die together.” Ryan choked on his own words.”I love you with all of my heart Shane, please don’t forget me.” Ryan said as he started to sob in his hands. He looks at Shanes face one last time before he could only see it in pictures. “I love you shane” He looked at Shanes body once more, and said to Shanes dead and lifeless body “I love you baby.” Then put a small dark red box that held a ring in the coffin with Shane. Then he walked back to his seat.

Ending the funeral was hard. Ryan didn’t want to let go. After the funeral, Ryan took a walk on the beach, he had to clear his mind. “Shane, I miss you so much, I will never forget you. I love you so much, I-I was going to propose to you the day you died, It was my fault you died. I should have proposed a different day. thank you for being a part of my life Shane, I’m so sorry, I love you.” Ryan sobbed, knowing Shane couldn’t hear him. 

Pieces of the world started to slow around Ryan. He had stopped believing in almost everything when he found out Shane was dead. If god was real, why did he kill his boyfriend. If ghosts were real, why didn’t shane come to him. If Ryan could move on, why couldn’t he get the thought of death out of his head.

leaving Ryan was going to be hard. Shane had heard everything Ryan had said. He was standing in front of Ryan has he sobbed on his knees. “I love you Ryan, so much.” Shane couldn’t do more than give Ryan a kiss on the forehead. He knew Ryan couldn’t Feel or hear him. Shane had to leave now, it was his time. “I’ll see you in 50 years Ry, I love you.”  
Then Shane was gone, and all that was left, was a heartbroken Ryan Steven Bergara.

Entering heaven, Shane felt at ease, calm, but incomplete. It was going to be hard living without Ryan. Shane was glad that it was him who died and not Ryan, He couldn’t stand it if Ryan was dead.

At home, Ryan sobbed his eyes out, he couldn’t stop the salty tears from spilling out of his eyes. He thought that maybe he could use the spirit box to try to talk to Shane. He hopes it works

Static filled the empty house when Ryan started the box. He started tearing up when remembering how much Shane hated the spirit box, if he hated it, why would he even try to communicate.

Even though Shane was dead, Ryan always talked about him as if he was still alive. People gave him sympathetic looks and reminded him that Shane was gone. Ryan refused to think that. He continued Unsolved, leaving his fans to worry about his mental health whenever he started talking to Shane on the show. Ryan kept getting sadder and sadder and sadder ever episode of true crime and supernatural. Every postmortem felt empty without the amazing hotdaga. Ryan continued the hotdaga in Shanes memory, the part that was what made the fans realize he was in a bad state of depression was when he had himself die as he was proposing to Shane. That postmortem was the first time Ryan had cried on the show. Then Unsolved ended abruptly and Ryan went missing. People everywhere were searching for him. When a few weeks later. The police realized Shanes grave had been dug up. Ryan was found in his house a day later, holding hands with shanes decaying skin and bones, dead, surrounded with pictures of them together, and a note, handwritten by Ryan with only a few words. No one is sure how he died, but professionals say it was a broken heart. People remember Ryans words from the funeral “I can’t live without you”

**Author's Note:**

> Read the first letter of every paragraph to see what Ryan wrote


End file.
